If the type of SUPPORT we are looking for is in the form of ‘validation’ … then we are buying into the new era of social media.
Needing others, or another, to verbalise or demonstrate their appreciation for us is the same as needing their validation. To hear from others how ‘good’, ‘great’, ‘special’, etc we are is great – a bonus – but to need this in order to believe in our self, trust and/or acknowledge our self is a sure sign of low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem and addictions have for a long time been connected. The need for ‘feeling connected’ with others has been more recently referred to as a common denominator of many forms of addiction. Not that this is going to be true for everyone though. Self doubt is enough to cause low self esteem, with or without connection with others. They both scream: “a need for validation”.
But when was it taught to feel validated by our own deeds … not recently. We live in a global culture now that has become obsessed with being “liked” … for our posts and pictures on social media, for our ability to interact with ‘everyone’ about our personal lives on an international basis … even our resumes are online via ‘professional/career media’ (as opposed to social media). From our working life and family life, through to our private mundane, and/or extraordinary, life experiences, from what we had for breakfast to the last international holiday we had – everything!
As we move further and further away from feeling ‘validated’ by actually experiencing our breakfast, holiday, current activity, and across an invisible threshold to where others’ “liking” our photos and texts of our life becomes our validation … the further away from Reality we travel.
Sure you are still experiencing a reality … of sorts … the social media reality … let’s just call it ‘the fake reality’; like ‘fake news’ we now have a ‘fake reality’ forming too. But for our millennials it is all too ‘real’ for them! It is their ‘everything’! It is more important to share every moment online than it is to actually experience every moment. You know, filming events like concerts, instead of simply BEING at the concert, or playing virtual reality games that are superimposed over the landscape, etc. Life is really starting to look and be surreal!!!
Back to external ‘validation’ not being a healthy form of SUPPORT.
Sharing with ‘external’ others – including folk never met – who are ‘liking’/validating photos or texts of your life is taking you on a journey further and further away from Reality, the Reality originally experienced between self and Self, our body/identity self and our Higher Mind, from being REAL in this Present Time.
This is the reset of human nature brought on by mass addiction to social media. Artificial self-esteem generated through external validation … the “Like” and “Follow” “buttons” on social media.
It is artificial … and oh so many people are left feeling unsupported … this is basically the definition of artificial – it is NOT REAL.
Awareness of causing REAL SUPPORT would be a great place to start when looking for ways to SUPPORT yourself. REAL SUPPORT that starts within, that demonstrates an internal locus of control and is based on a REAL acknowledgement of our self and Self, consciousness and Consciousness of who and what we REALLY are … that does not rely on others.
Marianne Thorne ?
… on facebook